Saturday, April 01, 2006

Tips For Life- A funny Email I Received

I have no idea if this is true, but I had to post it as I was laughing out loud in sympathy....

Dear Kotex,

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had
a bunch of "Kotex Tips for life" on it. Annoying advice such as:

Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
Try Kotex blah blah blah other products

Obviously the person behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a
menstruating woman TO HER FACE that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. See what happens and report back.

I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and
Remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-friggin-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated.

Look, females don't need or want tips for living on feminine hygiene products.. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful"
crap like that from their elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, mainly containing alcohol.

Printing out shit advice while sneaking in ads for the brand THAT
WAS ALREADY PURCHASED is just plain annoying, not to
mention rude, stupid, and enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.

Mostly we'd like to forget that we even need these products. It's
Not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley
faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the
packaging.

Put the shit in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw
It in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine
And beer.

There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store.

The ultimate goal of your product should be functional invisibility
at every stage, including at the point of purchase.

So take your tips for living and shove them right up your ass. Try
drinking six to eight glasses of water to make you feel fresher while you're doing it!

Ovarily Yours,
Miss PMS

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