Garrison Keillor Quotes

Garrison Keillor Quotes:



Keillor makes me laugh. His description, in one of his books, about chasing a chicken without head, around town, made me laugh so hard I was nearly peeing my pants. I remembered those days in my childhood where I was the chicken chaser. Here are a bunch of quotes from one of my fave authors, and someone who makes me BE in his stories.

"A book is a gift you can open again and again.
Garrison Keillor

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Garrison Keillor

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
Garrison Keillor

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.
Garrison Keillor

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
Garrison Keillor

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
Garrison Keillor

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'
Garrison Keillor

I want to resume the life of a shy person.
Garrison Keillor

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
Garrison Keillor

Librarians, Dusty, possess a vast store of politeness. These are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green earth. These people tolerate every kind of crank and eccentric and mouth-breather there is.
Garrison Keillor

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, bu"